My Best Friend ~Alison Selena Cisse aka B

This post is by far the hardest post I'll ever have to write in this lifetime. As I'm typing the words my eyes are filling up with tears.

On Thursday March 8, 2012 my life changed forever. My best friend of 16 years Alison passed away. It's been almost a month and I'm still in disbelief. I feel like I'm in this long nightmare that I will eventually wake up from.

Alison was a wife, mother of three beautiful children and daughter to a wonderful woman. but to me she was my best friend B. She was beautiful, vivacious, kind, loving, caring, funny, smart, and so full of life. When she walked into a room she lite it up. When you were in a bad mood she could easily put a smile on your face. When you needed her support she was there in a heartbeat. She was everything that you would want in a best friend, and I was lucky and blessed to have her as mine.

I had the opportunity to say good bye to Alison before she died. To tell her how much I loved her and how much her friendship meant to me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her, look at her picture, say her name and ask the question why? Why her? Why now? We had so many plans for this year. "2012 was going to be our year" those were words she spoke all the time. It turns out it was her year to become an Angel and light up the world.

I was asked by Alison's mom to do her eulogy along with with her cousins. I'll be honest with you I didn't want to do it, because writing it and reading it was confirming the truth I that didn't want to face she was gone. It took me a long time to put my hands on the keys and type away, but I did it. As a group we decided to each write a memory about Alison and it was hard to pick one thing, because there were so many. Here's one of my favorites

Taken from Alison's Eulogy:

B and I had one thing in common we love to talk and when I say we love to talk I mean we loved to talk. It never mattered how long it was of not seeing each other the moment we got together that was it, it was as if we were never apart in the first place. We would have girls’ night out where we would do dinner just to catch up with what’s going on in our lives and we went to the Canyon Creek restaurant at Scarborough Town Centre. We got there at about 8PM and we talked until they were no longer serving refills for our coffee, we talked until they started putting chairs up on the table, we talked until the hostess started vacuuming, we talked until the radio stopped playing, we talked until the light finally went on and we started seeing the staff getting ready to go home…it was then we realized maybe we should head home.

Today is Wednesday. Wednesday use to be my favorite day of the week. You're probably wondering why Wednesday? Why not Friday or even Thursday, why Wednesday? Wednesday use to be the day that Alison and I use to have our weekly call to catch up with each other we called it "Touchpoint Wednesday". Man they were fun. B would bbm me at around 9:30PM and I would call her and we'd start talking until one of two things happened: 1) We realize that if we didn't end the call we wouldn't be able to function the next day or 2) B's cordless phone would die.
Let me tell you I'd be half asleep at my desk because I was so tried, but you know what I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Now Wednesdays are the hardest day of the week, because I know I won't get that bbm and I won't be dialing her number, and we won't be talking until the wee hours of the morning or until the phone dies. What I would give to hear her voice just one more time.

One of the things B encouraged me to do was write my book. She was the only person that I would allow to read my work. She was honest and if she didn't like something I wrote she would let me know. She also always got a kick out of adding addtional/crazy ideas to my story and we would laugh up a storm. God I miss her so much.
"Unspoken Secrets" was the one story she was pushing me to write. I started it in November, but never finished. But I will finish it...in honour of my beautiful friend.

My Finals Words:

"B there are no words to describe how fortunate and blessed I’ve been to have you in my life for 16  years. You are the true definition of a best friend and I wouldn’t trade what we had for anything. I love you and I’m going to miss so much.  You know they say a man and woman destined to be together are soulmates. That’s exactly what we were….soul friends now and always.