Writing has been my passion every since I was young girl. I always had a huge imagination and one day I decided to put it down on paper. I've written many stories in my time, but have never had the guts to publish anything. I guess it's fear of being rejected, but that's the writing world. Sometimes you have to be rejected to be finally be accepted.
The last couple of months have been very difficult for me. I lost my best friend B and on of my biggest supporters when it came to my writing. She was the only one I had the guts to allow read my work and now she's not here. Never once in my life no matter what was going on rather good or bad did I ever lose my passion to write, but I did. I LOST MY PASSION TO WRITE!!! That took a lot for me to say, but I'm saying it. I lost my passion to write.
Last weekend I spent the afternoon with B's three goregous kids, her husband and mom. It was the first time I've been there since she died, it was hard because I was expecting her to come to do the door and say "What's up Warren, you finally made it down to our neck of the woods" and give me a hug like she always did, she never did. But the minute I walked through that door I felt her presents, she was all over that house and I it felt nice. I was able to look at some her things and I came accross a bracelet...can I tell you that my girl LOVED jewerly...there's a reason why she went by the name "Miss B.L.I.N.G " The bracelet read
Be Positive. Believe In Yourself. These words were words that B lived by she was the most positive person I've ever met and she believed in herself and others.
It was a sign. She was telling me "Be positive. Believe In Yourself Warren! You can do this!" It's funny, I could actually hear her saying that to me. That was the push I needed and I'm getting my writing groove back.
Thanks B for always looking out!
About Me
- Kcee
- I'm known to everyone as Camele, but to the writing world I'm known by my pen name Kcee. I've had a passion for writing at a very young age and always dreamed of being an author, but with the ups and downs of everyday life I pushed aside what I most loved to do. It took an unfortunate tragedy to make me realize how short life is, and how important it is to go after your dreams. I am very excited to finally take this journey in following my dreams. It's now my time. The Write Time!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
My Best Friend ~Alison Selena Cisse aka B
This post is by far the hardest post I'll ever have to write in this lifetime. As I'm typing the words my eyes are filling up with tears.
On Thursday March 8, 2012 my life changed forever. My best friend of 16 years Alison passed away. It's been almost a month and I'm still in disbelief. I feel like I'm in this long nightmare that I will eventually wake up from.
Alison was a wife, mother of three beautiful children and daughter to a wonderful woman. but to me she was my best friend B. She was beautiful, vivacious, kind, loving, caring, funny, smart, and so full of life. When she walked into a room she lite it up. When you were in a bad mood she could easily put a smile on your face. When you needed her support she was there in a heartbeat. She was everything that you would want in a best friend, and I was lucky and blessed to have her as mine.
I had the opportunity to say good bye to Alison before she died. To tell her how much I loved her and how much her friendship meant to me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her, look at her picture, say her name and ask the question why? Why her? Why now? We had so many plans for this year. "2012 was going to be our year" those were words she spoke all the time. It turns out it was her year to become an Angel and light up the world.
I was asked by Alison's mom to do her eulogy along with with her cousins. I'll be honest with you I didn't want to do it, because writing it and reading it was confirming the truth I that didn't want to face she was gone. It took me a long time to put my hands on the keys and type away, but I did it. As a group we decided to each write a memory about Alison and it was hard to pick one thing, because there were so many. Here's one of my favorites
Taken from Alison's Eulogy:
Let me tell you I'd be half asleep at my desk because I was so tried, but you know what I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Now Wednesdays are the hardest day of the week, because I know I won't get that bbm and I won't be dialing her number, and we won't be talking until the wee hours of the morning or until the phone dies. What I would give to hear her voice just one more time.
One of the things B encouraged me to do was write my book. She was the only person that I would allow to read my work. She was honest and if she didn't like something I wrote she would let me know. She also always got a kick out of adding addtional/crazy ideas to my story and we would laugh up a storm. God I miss her so much.
"Unspoken Secrets" was the one story she was pushing me to write. I started it in November, but never finished. But I will finish it...in honour of my beautiful friend.
My Finals Words:
On Thursday March 8, 2012 my life changed forever. My best friend of 16 years Alison passed away. It's been almost a month and I'm still in disbelief. I feel like I'm in this long nightmare that I will eventually wake up from.
Alison was a wife, mother of three beautiful children and daughter to a wonderful woman. but to me she was my best friend B. She was beautiful, vivacious, kind, loving, caring, funny, smart, and so full of life. When she walked into a room she lite it up. When you were in a bad mood she could easily put a smile on your face. When you needed her support she was there in a heartbeat. She was everything that you would want in a best friend, and I was lucky and blessed to have her as mine.
I had the opportunity to say good bye to Alison before she died. To tell her how much I loved her and how much her friendship meant to me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her, look at her picture, say her name and ask the question why? Why her? Why now? We had so many plans for this year. "2012 was going to be our year" those were words she spoke all the time. It turns out it was her year to become an Angel and light up the world.
I was asked by Alison's mom to do her eulogy along with with her cousins. I'll be honest with you I didn't want to do it, because writing it and reading it was confirming the truth I that didn't want to face she was gone. It took me a long time to put my hands on the keys and type away, but I did it. As a group we decided to each write a memory about Alison and it was hard to pick one thing, because there were so many. Here's one of my favorites
Taken from Alison's Eulogy:
B and I had one thing in common we love to talk and when I say we love to talk I mean we loved to talk. It never mattered how long it was of not seeing each other the moment we got together that was it, it was as if we were never apart in the first place. We would have girls’ night out where we would do dinner just to catch up with what’s going on in our lives and we went to the Canyon Creek restaurant at Scarborough Town Centre. We got there at about 8PM and we talked until they were no longer serving refills for our coffee, we talked until they started putting chairs up on the table, we talked until the hostess started vacuuming, we talked until the radio stopped playing, we talked until the light finally went on and we started seeing the staff getting ready to go home…it was then we realized maybe we should head home.
Today is Wednesday. Wednesday use to be my favorite day of the week. You're probably wondering why Wednesday? Why not Friday or even Thursday, why Wednesday? Wednesday use to be the day that Alison and I use to have our weekly call to catch up with each other we called it "Touchpoint Wednesday". Man they were fun. B would bbm me at around 9:30PM and I would call her and we'd start talking until one of two things happened: 1) We realize that if we didn't end the call we wouldn't be able to function the next day or 2) B's cordless phone would die.Let me tell you I'd be half asleep at my desk because I was so tried, but you know what I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Now Wednesdays are the hardest day of the week, because I know I won't get that bbm and I won't be dialing her number, and we won't be talking until the wee hours of the morning or until the phone dies. What I would give to hear her voice just one more time.
One of the things B encouraged me to do was write my book. She was the only person that I would allow to read my work. She was honest and if she didn't like something I wrote she would let me know. She also always got a kick out of adding addtional/crazy ideas to my story and we would laugh up a storm. God I miss her so much.
"Unspoken Secrets" was the one story she was pushing me to write. I started it in November, but never finished. But I will finish it...in honour of my beautiful friend.
My Finals Words:
"B there are no words to describe how fortunate and blessed I’ve been to have you in my life for 16 years. You are the true definition of a best friend and I wouldn’t trade what we had for anything. I love you and I’m going to miss so much. You know they say a man and woman destined to be together are soulmates. That’s exactly what we were….soul friends now and always.
Friday, November 4, 2011
NaNoWriMo- Day 3
So it's Day 3 of NaNoWriMo and I officially started. Due to work and attending meetings for my business I couldn't start on November 1st like most people. So I took 2 days off work to focus on catching up.
Honestly I was struggling with figuring out what I was going to write. I did mention in my last post that I was going to finally write Unspoken Secrets, but a few days ago I was struggling and I almost changed my mind planning to go with another story in my head. I guess this is what happens when you don't have an outline. For two days I was going nuts and finally this morning when I woke and got ready write I decided to seek a little help. I called my cousin Adrian and gave him a brief run down of both stories and which one he would be intereted in reading and as I was explaining "Unspoken Secrets" to him I could hear the interest in his voice. I could feel him hanging on the edge of his seat wondering what the end was going to be like and it was right then and there I knew the story I was meant to write.
And so it begins. I completed the prolouge, and I'm currently on the 3rd chapter. Total word count: 7,024 all in one day. My goal is to try to write at least 3,000 words a day, so I've made up for the two days I missed! Yeah baby!!!
I'm off again tomorrow. Planning on getting up bright and early and getting down to business. I hope it will be another successful day! Courtney and Noah are slowly, but surely coming to life...oh and Ethan, I can't forget about Ethan.
Until the next post!
Honestly I was struggling with figuring out what I was going to write. I did mention in my last post that I was going to finally write Unspoken Secrets, but a few days ago I was struggling and I almost changed my mind planning to go with another story in my head. I guess this is what happens when you don't have an outline. For two days I was going nuts and finally this morning when I woke and got ready write I decided to seek a little help. I called my cousin Adrian and gave him a brief run down of both stories and which one he would be intereted in reading and as I was explaining "Unspoken Secrets" to him I could hear the interest in his voice. I could feel him hanging on the edge of his seat wondering what the end was going to be like and it was right then and there I knew the story I was meant to write.
And so it begins. I completed the prolouge, and I'm currently on the 3rd chapter. Total word count: 7,024 all in one day. My goal is to try to write at least 3,000 words a day, so I've made up for the two days I missed! Yeah baby!!!
I'm off again tomorrow. Planning on getting up bright and early and getting down to business. I hope it will be another successful day! Courtney and Noah are slowly, but surely coming to life...oh and Ethan, I can't forget about Ethan.
Until the next post!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! NaNoWriMo
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! (I'm singing by the way) and no it's not back to school, or Christmas...although that's just around the corner. It's the National Novel Writing Month aka "NaNoWriMo"
This is what I consider my most wonderful time of the year! Why? Because I get to attempt to write a novel in 30 day.
Have I done this before? Yes I have. I've been doing it for 5 years finished twice!
Have I done anything with the story I've completed? Not a damn thing, but you know what I'm okay with that. The story was good, but not great. Now I'm more focused and I believe that I have a great story in mind and it's ready to come out.
The story? Unspoken Secrets...ya that's the one...the story I should have done last year, but unfortunately never got the chance to do. I put it away for a year and focused on my writing course that I've been taken, working on my short story assignments....I have an assignment that is due this Sunday and I'm almost finished. I'll be getting that out of the way and dedicating myself to this story, which will be filled with suspense, romance, and betrayal.
I have my characters....Courtney & Noah. They are finally going to come to life and I can't wait to introduce you all to them. I'm going to be honest with everyone I didn't do a full outline, I mean hell, I tried, I really did, but I wasn't feeling it. I'm all about winging it! I know, I know...it's a risk, but that's what this challenge is all about taking risks and as of November 1st I'm going to put it all down on paper and let the magic flow.
Is that smart? Hell if I know, but I'm doing it anyways, damit! Never forget when it's all over I could go back rewrite and polish my baby up to get it ready for the world.
Throughout this month I can almost guarantee that there will be highs and lows and I'm pretty sure you're gonna hear all about it, but at the end of the day when I reach my goal of 50,000 words...and I WILL. It will be all worth it!
Just 4 more days and counting...Man I can't wait!!!
This is what I consider my most wonderful time of the year! Why? Because I get to attempt to write a novel in 30 day.
Have I done this before? Yes I have. I've been doing it for 5 years finished twice!
Have I done anything with the story I've completed? Not a damn thing, but you know what I'm okay with that. The story was good, but not great. Now I'm more focused and I believe that I have a great story in mind and it's ready to come out.
The story? Unspoken Secrets...ya that's the one...the story I should have done last year, but unfortunately never got the chance to do. I put it away for a year and focused on my writing course that I've been taken, working on my short story assignments....I have an assignment that is due this Sunday and I'm almost finished. I'll be getting that out of the way and dedicating myself to this story, which will be filled with suspense, romance, and betrayal.
I have my characters....Courtney & Noah. They are finally going to come to life and I can't wait to introduce you all to them. I'm going to be honest with everyone I didn't do a full outline, I mean hell, I tried, I really did, but I wasn't feeling it. I'm all about winging it! I know, I know...it's a risk, but that's what this challenge is all about taking risks and as of November 1st I'm going to put it all down on paper and let the magic flow.
Is that smart? Hell if I know, but I'm doing it anyways, damit! Never forget when it's all over I could go back rewrite and polish my baby up to get it ready for the world.
Throughout this month I can almost guarantee that there will be highs and lows and I'm pretty sure you're gonna hear all about it, but at the end of the day when I reach my goal of 50,000 words...and I WILL. It will be all worth it!
Just 4 more days and counting...Man I can't wait!!!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
God Knows- In Memory of Gretel Warren
God has a way of doing his thing
And its just because he can.
We have a way of not understanding,
For we refuse to be strong.
God gives and he taketh,
So as it is written in his words.
For he alone knows our sorrow,
And with loves gives us strength for tomorrow.
Three years ago he said you had to leave,
Dear Lord give us a little more time please?
My dear children this I must do,
For I love her so.
Here we are today thinking how much you were loved,
You will always be one of Mom's special dove.
Know always you will be in our hearts,
Even death can't keep us apart.
Dedicated to Claire and Family from all of us. We miss you Aunt Gretie. Gone but not forgotten.
Written by "Papats"
And its just because he can.
We have a way of not understanding,
For we refuse to be strong.
God gives and he taketh,
So as it is written in his words.
For he alone knows our sorrow,
And with loves gives us strength for tomorrow.
Three years ago he said you had to leave,
Dear Lord give us a little more time please?
My dear children this I must do,
For I love her so.
Here we are today thinking how much you were loved,
You will always be one of Mom's special dove.
Know always you will be in our hearts,
Even death can't keep us apart.
Dedicated to Claire and Family from all of us. We miss you Aunt Gretie. Gone but not forgotten.
Written by "Papats"
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Birthday Queen
It was a day I will never forget. My brithday. I'm not sure about many people, but me I take my birthday seriously. Its my day, a day where I should be pampered, where all the attention should be focused on. I mean it only happens once a year right? So I have the right to wanna be Queen for a day.
This birthday was nothing different I was Queen for the day and I was looking forward to a night of salsa dancing with friends. The guest list was big and I was excited. Let me take that back, now don't get me wrong I was excited, but I was also a little sad, because of all my friends that were coming out to celebrate my special day there was one special person that wasn't gonna be there. We had been talking for a bit, I won't say we were dating, but we had a great friendship developing with the potential of it going further and I wanted him to be there, but unfortunately for me being in Mexico and sipping on pina colda was a lot more fun. Now of course it wasn't my place to have a hissy fit and even if it were my place it wasn't in my DNA to put up one. So I let it go. This year the Queen would be without her King.
I dressed in a black fitted dress, sexy stiletto heels and worn my hair down with a part in the middle, not much of a girl who loves make up it was simple eye shadow and lipstick. I must say I looked hot!
The club was packed and merengue music filled the air, all my friends were there which was awesome and filling me up with liquor which was even much better! I was on the dance floor shaking what my mama gave me and having the time of my life, but still a part of me felt empty my guy wasn't here.
Suddenly out of nowhere the smell of Swiss Army cologne filled my nostrils.
"Damn" I said to myself. "I must be really missing him." I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder I turned around quickly and right before my eyes was the sexist man I had ever seen in my life. His skin was rich brown chocolate, with designer glasses giving him that professor look. He was clean shaven and had a smile to die for. He was dressed in a black dress pants, with a black shirt and the hottest suede jacket. Denzel Washington had nothing on him.
"Surprise!" he said with a grin. I had to do a double take making sure the liquor wasn't playing tricks on me. I could feel my heart start to accelerate, and I started to feel a little warm I was in desperate need for a drink to quench my thirst and cool my body down. But there was no way in hell I was moving and besides I didn't to let on how happy I was to see him. I needed to play it cool or at least try to."Happy birthday, Babe." he was cool calm and collected. I jumped into his arms like it was no body's business and kissed him all over. Forget about keeping it cool, I could blame it on the alcohol later.
"I thought you're flight wasn't getting in until tomorrow morning?"
"That's what I told you."
"So you mean..."
"I had every intention of celebrating your birthday with and what better gift than to suprise you!"
I was surprised alright and also very taken aback and it was right there I knew that this man wasn't going to only be my friend, but this Queen finally had found her King.
I wrote today's post as part of the WOW-Women on Writing Blanket Tour for
Letter from Home by Kristina McMorris (www.kristinamcmorris.com). This debut
novel is the story of three young women during World War II and the identity
misunderstandings they and the men in their lives have. Ask yourself: Can a
soldier fall in love with a woman through letters? and What happens if the
woman writing the letters is different from the woman he met the might
before he shipped out, the woman he thought was writing the letters? Is it
still love or just a lie?
Like many authors, Kristina has had a wild selection of "real jobs"
everything from wedding planner to actress to publicist. She finally added
novelist to the list after Kristina got a peek at the letters her
grandfather wrote to his sweetheart(a.k.a. Grandma Jean)while he was serving
in the Navy during World War II. That got her wondering how much two people
could truly know each other just from letter writing and became the nugget
of her novel.
In honor of her grandparents, and all the other families kept apart by
military service, Kristina is donating a portion of her book's profits to
United Through Reading, a nonprofit organization that video records deployed
U.S. military personnel reading bedtime stories to their children. You can
learn more about the program at http://www.unitedthroughreading.org/
If you comment on today's post on this blog or any of the others
particpating in Everybody's Talking About Surprises, you'll be entered to
win a special surprise prize! It includes an personalized copy of Letters
from Home, a Big Band CD, Victory Garden seeds, and more. To read
Kristina's post about surprises and a list of other blogs participating in
Everybody's Talking about Surprises visit The Muffin.(we'll forward you the
link to the listing on the Muffin)
Letter from Home by Kristina McMorris (www.kristinamcmorris.com). This debut
novel is the story of three young women during World War II and the identity
misunderstandings they and the men in their lives have. Ask yourself: Can a
soldier fall in love with a woman through letters? and What happens if the
woman writing the letters is different from the woman he met the might
before he shipped out, the woman he thought was writing the letters? Is it
still love or just a lie?
Like many authors, Kristina has had a wild selection of "real jobs"
everything from wedding planner to actress to publicist. She finally added
novelist to the list after Kristina got a peek at the letters her
grandfather wrote to his sweetheart(a.k.a. Grandma Jean)while he was serving
in the Navy during World War II. That got her wondering how much two people
could truly know each other just from letter writing and became the nugget
of her novel.
In honor of her grandparents, and all the other families kept apart by
military service, Kristina is donating a portion of her book's profits to
United Through Reading, a nonprofit organization that video records deployed
U.S. military personnel reading bedtime stories to their children. You can
learn more about the program at http://www.unitedthroughreading.org/
If you comment on today's post on this blog or any of the others
particpating in Everybody's Talking About Surprises, you'll be entered to
win a special surprise prize! It includes an personalized copy of Letters
from Home, a Big Band CD, Victory Garden seeds, and more. To read
Kristina's post about surprises and a list of other blogs participating in
Everybody's Talking about Surprises visit The Muffin.(we'll forward you the
link to the listing on the Muffin)
Friday, March 11, 2011
Letting a story go...for now
I am going nuts! For about the last month I've been trying to write this short story for my writing assignment and everytime I think I got it, I realize I don't. It took me God knows how long just to figure out how I wanted to begin and now that I have the beginning I can't seem to grasp the middle. I do have the end, but the middle is the meat of the story and without it it's just two pieces of bread with nothing in between!
I'm at the point where I feel that at this time I need to put this one aside and think about writing something else. Does it make me feel like a failure? Most def! I hate backing down from a story that's giving me such a challenge, but I think for my own sanity right now it's the best thing for me to do. Maybe this is not the story I'm suppose to be submitting at this time and I'm alright with that for now.
My deadline to hand in my assignment is March 21st. That's 10 days away and I have to start all over again. Do I think I could make it happen? I guess we'll just have to see :) Wish me luck folks!
I'll keep you posted.
I'm at the point where I feel that at this time I need to put this one aside and think about writing something else. Does it make me feel like a failure? Most def! I hate backing down from a story that's giving me such a challenge, but I think for my own sanity right now it's the best thing for me to do. Maybe this is not the story I'm suppose to be submitting at this time and I'm alright with that for now.
My deadline to hand in my assignment is March 21st. That's 10 days away and I have to start all over again. Do I think I could make it happen? I guess we'll just have to see :) Wish me luck folks!
I'll keep you posted.
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